1. Ask for help with your kids on packing day. Otherwise you will have kids UNpacking while you are packing, among other problems. You will probably be pleasantly surprised to find that you can work much faster than you ever did before, since as a parent of young kids you have learned to work more efficiently to compensate for the "drag" effect of children.

2. That said, however, it is important to involve the kids to some extent in the moving process. Try your best to help them understand what is going on. Most important for them to understand is the family is staying together, and they will see their stuff again at your new home. You could even play-act having a stuffed animal family "move" to another room, with their things in a box, to help your little one understand. Let them pick out some things to be taken in your suitcases.

3. Try to maintain the daily routine and family "rituals" intact while you are moving, so the kids feel more secure. In fact, this is so helpful that you may want to start some new rituals that can be continued wherever you are. For example: a talk with a certain puppet every night at bedtime, a family grace said before meals, a special cup to drink out of, a song to sing at naptime, etc.

4. Try to minimize stops along the way to your new home. Getting the kids settled quickly is a high priority. Postpone unnecessary travel until after you are settled. If the kids are nervous and insecure about the move (as kids tend to be), you won't have a good visit or vacation anyway.

5. If you are allowed to send some things ahead before you move, do it. Send some familiar things your kids will be glad to see, some familiar packaged foods, and a few new surprises. A few boxes of neat stuff can help turn even the dreariest, emptiest new quarters into "home."

6. Ask for a sponsor at your new location who also has young kids, and see if you can correspond with each other before the move. Ask them to send pictures if they can, of their own kids, of a local playground, the school, or whatever. This will help your kids imagine the new place and look forward to it.

7. Especially if you can't send boxes beforehand, ask your sponsor if you can borrow a few toys until your stuff comes.

8. Try to avoid the invitation circuit for the first week or so when you arrive. One parent can go to the absolutely necessary events, but try to get out of leaving small children in a strange new place with a strange new babysitter. (By the way, I wish people were more understanding about this problem!)

9. Expect the adjustment. The kids may become clingy and whiny. They may seem to forget skills they have already mastered. This is temporary. Giving them extra attention will help. This may be hard when you are stressed out yourself from the move, but do the best you can. There is also a hidden benefit: it makes the family stronger when you pull together during a stressful time.

10. Let the kids help decorate their new bedroom(s). This helps them feel at home and also makes them feel that they are participating in the move. If you let them pick out a few things for the new place (such as posters, a removable wallpaper border, etc.), they will look forward to their new home even more.

11. As soon as you can after you arrive, find something new and fun that you can do as a family. It helps turn everyone's mind away from what they left behind and toward the new adventures ahead. Relax and enjoy the good stuff!!

©1999 Patricia Linderman. All Rights Reserved.