December 20 1994

It's coming down to the wire with the bid list. The criteria we treated as absolutes when we started last summer in choosing our next assignment, are now becoming luxuries. We have watched the plums on the assignment list drop off each month and our top six choices change accordingly. As a veteran mover (six in the past ten years), I am familiar with the ups and downs, but they don't get any easier.

After submitting one of the revised bids, I woke my husband Tom in blind panic. No, I can't do another Third World country post where a game of tennis will be the highlight of my day; I need more this time. Fortunately I have an understanding husband who was prepared to change the list to include a boring job in a country that had more opportunities for me. A day later the job had disappeared and we're back to the Third World. So much for good intentions.

I am already looking around my old neighborhood, thinking that this is the last Fall I will probably see in my garden. I doubt we will live in this house again. I am sad knowing that my third grader will be a hulking teen before we live here again.

Surprisingly the post that we had avoided for so long, i.e. Washington, has been beneficial to me. I have gone back to school, caught up on computer skills, even dusted off the old fiddle and joined a local orchestra. In addition I have volunteered at a hotline for victims of abuse. The training will be useful for me overseas, I'm sure. So it will be hard to stop everything and start new without the resources that have been available to me here.

We sometimes toy with the idea of extending here but that is shot down by my fifteen year old. As far as he is concerned it's almost three years, time to move on! He has fantasies of being a big fish in one of those small international schools. My third grader is the one that will be hit hardest. He has his gang that he plays with every afternoon. He follows football avidly. His only requirement for the next post: there must be American football. (We know how common that sport is in the rest of the world).

The reality is we are moving somewhere next summer. We will find out after Christmas. Then the real planning will start.

March 12 1995

It's to be Frankfurt...and what mixed emotions that come with the assignment. We had been in Bonn during those strong dollar years when the dollar was worth 3.13 marks, it is now 1.40! There is also something not quite right about going back to a country. I feel it's a wasted chance to see somewhere new. Still there could be worse assignments to repeat. (Did someone mention Havana?)

My fifteen year old is disappointed, he wanted the tropics, a smaller school than Frankfurt International. The rest of us have found the good aspects of this posting. In fact I believe there is a phenomenon that occurs when the panel have met and your TM1 is in your hands: it becomes the "Best Place Possible for Us" assignment. Thank God, because otherwise we would have all gone demented!

So now I have started the process of searching for a new lifestyle while the rest of my family go to school and office. I have put out feelers for one of those highly sought-after PIT positions... etc. etc.

Right now I'm suffering low grade excitement, the need to throw out "stuff." I talk about pack out dates and weigh up the pros and cons for sending the HHE early and camping out here or sending it late and camping out there. Funny the rest of the family don't seem as preoccupied as I do, but wait till they find themselves without the VCR!

So closer to my departure in August I can write about the pack out that went so smoothly, how my air freight was not filled with coat hangers this time. This move I'm going to do it right and resolve not to murder my husband in the process. Wish me luck!

Anatomy of a Move: The Packout

June16 1995

So the "congen" course is completed, all training offered has been taken; now for the real work, wading through the accumulated junk of three years back in Washington. My house is covered with yellow post-it notes glued to different pieces of furniture labeled HHE or Storage. Some of the notes have wandered so I'm beginning to doubt the usefulness of this labeling system.

It reminds me of the illustrated labels I used at overseas posts where the movers (and my) language abilities were limited to grand body gestures and lots of smiling. I drew glass shapes on my post-its and stuck them to china cabinets. It worked after a fashion!

Which brings me to glassware....I found a box still packed from two moves ago. There must be 25 liqueur glasses! Now I have had large parties before, but I never had 25 people drinking from liqueur glasses at the same time! There is absolutely no reason to lug this box overseas again, but my husband seems to think we should .. just in case.

This move is quite a bit different from post-to-post moves in that we have much more arranging to do. Where is GSO when you need them? My house needs so much work to get it ready for renting. At this point we have decided to paint the place ourselves, no easy matter as there are cathedral ceilings! Of course being flexible foreign service types, this may change. I've already made an executive decision to get the carpets professionally cleaned ($129.99 with coupon).

The boys finished school today. All are delighted to be out but then the third grader acknowledged some anxiety. He asked if we could live back here again after Germany, figuring that he could be back for 6th grade. I voiced my doubts and realize now I should have spent more time talking about the move with him. My kids always appear to move easily. They don't wear their hearts on their sleeves so I have to be more vigilant in addressing their throw-away comments.

June 27

Everyone is conspiring against me! That includes the dentist who thought I wanted separate appointments for teeth cleaning and sealant to be put in the kids' teeth. The TV is back again in the repair shop. The calls to rent the house have led to zip so far. Why did I wait so long to get these chores done? Because I'm a normal disorganized eligible family member! I had vowed this time I would have everything organized.

There is a new form of irritation in the moving process. I tried to change the moving date that I had arranged with the moving company. I was told however that any change had to be authorized by the State Dept. and of course I could not talk to our personnel technician (as I am the eligible family member). It took several calls and a meeting of a "panel" to change the moving date that <M>I had given the movers! I have not figured out why this small change caused so much trouble. It is the difficulty not being able to talk to personnel myself or any number of offices, that makes moving so difficult. Virtually everything has to filtered through my husband, who has plenty of other distractions. I am left to ask him each evening if he has made the calls I had listed for him. After awhile I admit I sound suspiciously like I'm nagging!

July 5

Paralysis is the word that comes to mind. I have that look of a deer caught in the headlights! I know there is lots to be done, but I find myself so overwhelmed that I end up reading the paper or going shopping. There is simply so much to sort out that I am beginning to succumb to the dirty little secret we all have thought of at one point in a move or another....I'll let them pack out everything and sort it all out at post. I have known people who have had the entire contents of their kitchen junk drawer packed and sent. Of course we have all heard of the packers packing the coffee machine with grounds still in it. Or the trash can packed complete with trash. But those were honest mistakes , not conscious decisions. The other alternative is dump everything in storage and save that for opening ten years hence! With one week to go before the packers I will surely have gotten it together.

July 7

Nobody ever talks about the physical effects of this kind of stress; however, keeping this journal has made me more conscious of what is going on. For example the excema has started up along with the allergic conjunctivitis (people with weak constitutions may want to skip this part). My back problem has flared up, exacerbated by the lifting no doubt. I seem to be spending more time at various doctors' offices than ever. (Of course this could be a subconscious attempt to avoid sorting the house out, just as writing this journal is!) I know, I know... I'll stop whining and get back to work...

August 1—Hotel Room, Virginia

I have only one important message for all readers. PACK AIR FREIGHT FIRST (so that you don't end up 200 lb. overweight!)

Anatomy of a Move: Settling In

August 18, 1995

Five days after arrival and I'm beginning to feel human. It wasn't just the jet lag, there were too many disasters leading up to departure to list. However, I will mention one for everyone to ponder over their breakfast....shots in the right eyeball, I had two of them just prior to boarding the plane. The doctor muttered something about it being stress related.

First impressions of post...very organized, friendly, little America basically. At this stage of my life I like my comforts and Frankfurt certainly offers that. Imagine 20 channels on cable and just like America virtually nothing to watch. O.J. is on over here too. I don't understand it, people in Europe do not have a clue who he is...so why the coverage?

The boys are doing their best to make friends. The little one has one friend and the older one has been talking to a lot of girls. He's so smooth! Insecurity is showing itself in my 9 year old by his repeated checking of the locked doors in the apartment. He wants us all to go to bed when he does and constantly wants to know where everyone is. There has been some conflict between the two boys. The older one has been trying to coach the little one on ?making friends.? He says the little one acts ?goofy? and ?everyone thinks he is weird.? I have explained that he has to learn his own way but it's hard to watch.

September 13

I've said it before but I vow next time (if there is a next time) I will wait to arrive at post until the permanent quarters are ready and the HHE is there! My husband can give me a call and I'll show up. Frankly I am superfluous to the basic running of the home...because I have no home to run. The children are in school, my husband's at work and so I tread water waiting for life to start.

Now I've done a fair bit of exploring. I have mastered the tram system and joined committees and gone on any day trips offered. I have met some super people and I know eventually things will click into place...it's just the interminable wait for our permanent home.

So much for my plan to pack out early from Washington. My neighbor here packed out of Virginia a full month later and she has her things. Mine are floating on the high seas.

My 15 year old son and I were talking about the phases of moving recently, i.e., the honeymoon period followed by the hostile period. Normally we're told each period lasts weeks to months. My son hung his head and announced his honeymoon period lasted all of an hour tops! ?I checked out the neighborhood and housing and went straight into the hostile mode.?

December 8

I thought I had written more in this journal than I obviously have. I would like to say I have been too busy immersing myself in the host culture, or doing good works in the community, or even working! However none of that is true. I simply slumped...is that a verb? It's when the less you have to do causes you to do even less until the smallest chore seems to be a huge undertaking. We moved into permanent quarters finally. It didn't take a lot of effort as I had the packers empty the boxes and just stuff cupboards. I haven't gotten around to sorting those cupboards out because... I slumped. German lessons that I eagerly signed up for didn't materialize (something about a budget crunch). I have a job in the consular section waiting for me. There is some delay due to a hiring freeze (again this mysterious budget crunch).

Had I known I was not going to work I would have begun a lifestyle that included joining groups, etc. However, having thought I would start work at the end of September, I put off paying lots of money to join these groups. (Current rate to join an American women's club runs almost $200 here.) This may be the origin of my slump. I am neither one thing or another.

So it is coming up to a year since I started this journal. A year ago we had no idea what part of the world we would be in to celebrate Christmas. For the most part the family is happy...no that is too strong a word, amenable perhaps. I hope to feel the same way when the slump leaves...possibly when I begin to work.

The journal has been a cathartic experience, as I have worked my way through this move. I appreciate being allowed to share my experiences with you in this great newsletter. I hope I have helped some of you who thought you were the only ones to feel the ups and downs I have described.

For those who think what's to complain about...she got Europe! My answer would be it doesn't matter where the move is to. I have done the third world moves, the stress and culture shock is there whether you move to Bujumbura or Bonn. However, in the end I would not change my lifestyle. And that, folks, says a lot!

Our anonymous "F.S. Diarist" met her husband in 1984 in Lesotho. From there it was on to Bonn, Havana, Mexico City, Bangkok, DC, and Frankfurt. She has two sons and currently works in a non-Foreign Service managerial position.