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A Moveable Marriage: Relocate Your Relationship Without Breaking Itby Robin PascoeReviewed by Carrie Shearer | |
 There
are books galore on relocation, but they tend to focus on the practicalities of
accomplishing the physical move. Until Robin Pascoe's A
Moveable Marriage, there has never been a book that touched on the human aspects
of relocation, much less how relocation affects the couple and their relationship.
This fierce defender of spouses' rights has written the definitive guide to moving
without destroying your relationship. Ms. Pascoe's latest book takes up where the colonial British left off (the British East India Company being the company that first moved families). As the author so deftly describes, relationships are the one item packed without bubble wrap. We worry about how to fit all our belongings into woefully inadequate storage space, yet we don't discuss how we feel. We may cry into our pillow, rage in e-mail to friends, fight with our spouse, but we don't take the time to learn how to move our relationship in a way that works for both parties. Gleaned from personal experience, A Moveable Marriage is brimming with practical advice. It shows women how to deal with the realities of the situation so they don't feel adrift in a rudderless boat. Each chapter contains strategies to make relocation a win-win situation. Amid humorous tales that all too often hit close to home and bring long-buried emotions bubbling to the surface, Ms. Pascoe identifies simple steps to make the transition easier. It would have been easy to blame companies for creating the situation and let the spouse see herself as a victim, but Ms. Pascoe is not known for taking the easy way out. Don't worry, there is a chapter called "The Role of the Company" where she lets loose on the appalling lack of support and empathy faced by most partners. Once you accept that the company will benignly neglect you, Ms. Pascoe insists, you can take control of your life by understanding your worth. She points out where companies miss the mark and what you can and cannot do about it. There are things you can do to make this relocation easier for you and your family. Interspersed with bittersweet vignettes, Ms. Pascoe shows you how to develop a game plan that will work with your unique relationship. From the idea of defining your needs as well as your roles in corporate language that your spouse can understand, to setting a time limit for relocation-related discussions, there are suggestions for everyone. As she clearly states in several places, not each pearl of wisdom will work in every relationship or in every relocation. What the book provides is optimism. By showing us women who have made the most of relocation and have come out of it wiser and stronger, if a bit harried, she gives hope for those about to embark on the journey. Ms. Pascoe tells it like it is - the good, the bad, and the ugly. Rather than shy away from the fact that some marriages disintegrate while abroad, she faces the issue head-on and gives advice on where to go to get help when you most need it. She has spoken to experts in the fields of marital therapy, post-nuptial agreements, marital abuse, and international law and shares the benefit of their wisdom. Be it your first, your fifth, or your twenty-fifth, relocation, this book is a must-read! To buy A Moveable Marriage(and help out Tales from a Small Planet at the same time!) please click here. Carrie Shearer has spent over 25 years dealing with international human resources, both in headquarters and as an expatriate. Currently she runs an HR consulting firm that specializes in international and cross-cultural challenges. She is a frequent contributor to Expatica.com, has written one novel, Daffodils, Orchids, and Roses, about expat wives in Singapore, and frequently speaks at conferences about issues affecting the globally mobile family. She is also an adjunct professor at eCornell's human resources program. |
