Halloween Scrooge

by Fritz Galt

As American children came to my Taiwan door, I held out a basket of candies, which my wife and I were only able to find in limited supply on the streets of Taipei. The children came appropriately attired, were polite, and took one candy apiece without me saying anything to limit them. No need to worry about the candy supply.

At dusk, when the American children were instructed to leave the streets, a group of Chinese Cultural University students emulating the children arrived in a herd, plastic 7-11 bags in hand. I became worried because I had given away most of my stash. They wore no costumes and didn't know the polite "trick or treat" phrase. I reached back into the linguistic bog of my brain and pulled out what I thought was the correct phrase hai-yo yi-ge meaning "Only take one." The principle word I knew was "yi-ge" meaning "one."

I was astonished. They reached into my basket for handfuls of candy. I quickly withdrew the basket and slammed the door.

The next group arrived, this time they was younger Chinese children with their parents. No costumes, no "trick or treat," 7-11 bags wide open.

"Hai-yo yi-ge," I said. Candy spilled all over the ground in their mad, greedy rush. I grew angry. I slapped their little hands and repeated myself. They left with uncertain looks on their faces.

A third group arrived. A young couple, no costume. They politely reached into my basket and took out one candy each, but their hands paused there.

"Hai-yo yi-ge," I said.

They looked at each other with embarrassment. Then they dipped their hands back in and pulled out another candy each.

They seem adult, and therefore reasonable. Perhaps they would understand me and put a piece back. "Hai-yo yi-ge," I said.

Rather than dropping their handfuls, they reached for another candy.

This routine could have gone on for days.

I shot them a "What is wrong with you?" look and shut the door without saying good-bye. I turned off the porch light before they reached the bottom step.

When I turned back into the living room, muttering something about cultural differences, my wife happened to be passing by and said, "Why are you telling them to take `one more'?"

©1997 Fritz Galt. All Rights Reserved.